Four little things that shaped India: Part 1

History books tell us that only events of tectonic magnitude, like say the Vasco Da Gama journey, shapes the history of the world.

This post is not about events like that.

This post is about some random little incidents from Indian history. Incidents, which are inconspicuous when viewed in isolation. So inconspicuous in fact, that they were eliminated from our History books.

Can’t blame the textbooks though. I mean what is the worst that they could have missed by not mentioning a single arrow, a pencil stroke or a nod of the head?

It is not as if these things influenced our History.


No 4: Iltutmish, with a polite harmless nod, says No to Jalal ad-din Mohammad, Ruler of the Khwarezmian Empire. Unknowingly saves Indian Civilization

It all started with this

A gift basket

Seriously, this story started with a pretty little, 13th century style gift basket, sent by Genghis Khan. If you bothered to read the link, you have a fair idea how this thing ends.

In 1215 A.D, Genghis Khan, the ruler of Mongolia, sent a pretty looking gift basket to Ala Ud-Din Mohammad, the ruler of the neighboring Khwarezmian Empire. He even inscribed the words, ‘You are the ruler of the land of the rising sun and I of the setting sun’ on it. He just wanted to be friends.

However, Ala ad-Din went all Gerard 300 This is Sparta Butler on the caravan. He ordered his governor, a guy called Inalchuq, to slaughter every one of the poor souls who carried the basket. And on top of the murder, Ala Ad-din didn’t even return the basket.

Strike One: Ala ad-din

Genghis Khan, perhaps giving Ala ad-din the benefit of doubt, sent three royal ambassadors (One Muslim and Two Mongols), to politely enquire about his missing caravan and the fate of his basket. He still wanted to be friends.

Ala ad-din, this time, shaved the heads of the two Mongol ambassadors and beheaded the Muslim one. Sending the two bald men back, with the severed head, he sent the message, ‘What the f***k can you do Genghis’?

Strike Two : Ala ad-Din

With Genghis Khan, two strikes is all you got.

With an army of 250,000, 13th century Rambos, battering rams, gunpowder, trebuchets, enormous siege bows capable of throwing 20-foot arrows into siege works and a guy called Subutai, the greatest General of the 13th century and the eight centuries that followed it, Genghis Khan marched into Khwarezim to avenge his dead ambassador.

Which was like arriving to a knife duel with an AK-47 assault rifle.

What followed was an orgy of blood and pillage, never before witnessed in human history. Khwarezmian cities were captured with the ease of capturing enemy cities in Rise of Nations; being played with cheat codes. Six to eight million Khwarezmian civilians and 1 million soldiers were ruthlessly murdered and decapitated. The favourite Mongol game of ‘Cut off head and build a wall with it’, was played outside the capital city of Samarkand with its now dead 1.2 million inhabitants. And the guy who started this tale of annihilation, Governor Inalchuq/the gift basket caravan killer, was executed in the most hideous way possible. Molten silver was poured through his mouth, ears and every other orifice in his body.

Genghis however reserved his best/worst for the city of Urgench, the birth place of Ala ad-din. Every Mongol soldier was ordered to kill at least 24 Urgenchi citizens. Once that was done and everyone was dead, Genghis as the final eff-you, demolished all the dams around the city that held back the River Amu Darya, completely wiping the city off  the face of the earth.

All because Khwarezmian’s killed one Mongol and shaved the head of two others.

A great city lies beneath the still water

Maybe as an evil joke, Schadenfreude or benevolence, Genghis Khan allowed Ala Ad-din to escape to a town on the Caspian sea, where he finally died. Books say Ala Ad-din died of some inflammation. But it is more likely that he just dropped dead from the shock of seeing the violent dismemberment of his once glorious empire.

How the hell did it happen!

After what the Ala Ad-din family went through, you expect the survivors to just give up. But not his son Jalal. He ran into Khorasan, what is today’s Afghanistan, to continue the war. Not wanting to leave any loose ends, Genghis marched right after him. As the cities of Khorasan rapidly vanished before his eyes, Jalal, as the last resort, ran to India.

India was then ruled by Iltutmish, the third king of the Delhi Sultanate.

Keeping in mind the ‘Me Muslim, He Muslim, We both brothers’, he appealed to Iltutmish for help. He sought refuge and an army to wrest his kingdom back from Genghis. He was confident that Iltutmish would not let his fellow Muslim monarch and brother down against an infidel. And then

ILTUTMISH SAID NO. 

For the first time in the history of the world, a Muslim monarch had denied asylum to another Muslim monarch who was being hunted by a non-Muslim Emperor. Jalal was flabbergasted. Shocked at this blunt refusal and pretty much out of options, Jalal Ad Din went back to Khorasan disheveled, disillusioned and praying to God that his head would not become a brick in a Mongol skull wall.

Genghis, by now though, was simply bored of all the bloodshed, pillage and orgy. Realizing that anyone from Khwarezim was either a skeleton or a hobo, he returned to Mongolia. Importantly for Indians though, he went back without invading India.

Meanwhile, Jalal disguised himself and lived incognito for the rest of his life, forever wondering whether the annihilation of his entire empire for the killing of one man was a little over the top.

WHAT IF ILTUTMISH HAD SAID YES TO JALAL?

Indian Civilization, as we know it, would not exist. Simple.

This was the Khwarizmi Empire, before the gift basket arrived. Why do you think we don’t read about it in the History books alongside the other great empires of the time?  What happened to them?

Genghis Khan happened to them. And they were not alone. When Genghis Khan invaded Baghdad in 1258, he turned what was then fertile plain into a freaking desert. Baghdad has still not recovered, 760 years after the Mongol invasion. 7 centuries.

Genghis was, what the Bible calls, Armageddon. If Genghis arrived in your city in the 13th century, not even its dogs and cats remained alive to see the aftermath. He was unbelievably intelligent and extremely ruthless. He took the dictum ‘All is fair in war’ to an entirely new level. Hell, he was the first guy to invent biological weapons and use them in a battle.

If Iltutmish had said Yes to Jalal Ud-din, all it would have done is to show a red flag to the rampaging Genghis. Angry Genghis would have straight up marched into India with his superb, undefeated army to fight Iltutmish. Iltutmish would have had as much of a chance against Genghis as India has against Spain in a football match. Zero.

The probable timeline would have been

Genghis Invades India —–> Genghis decimates Iltutmish —–> Genghis destroys Delhi —–> Genghis sees the rubies and the boobies on offer —–> Genghis pushes further into India —–>  Obliterates other cities and massacres everybody  else —–> Wipes out Indian Civilization, like the Khwarezmian one —–> Leaves behind Mongols to govern —–> We all become Mongols.

Never was a more important No said in the history of India. And never was a more important ‘No’ missed by a history textbook.

No 3: A freak arrow hits Hemu in the eye at the second battle of Panipat. Ensures Mughal rule in India.

 Mughals were briefly discussed on this site before. In one line, Mughals can be described as

Wandering Central Asian tribe, who after getting kicked out of their country landed in India and became its rulers.

Babur founded the Mughal empire in 1526, and was succeeded by his opium addicted, pleasure seeking, hookah smoking son Humayun in 1530. Opium and wars were never happy companions and he, inevitably was defeated by Sher Shah Suri in 1540. The crippling defeat ensured Humayun, his family and his hookah, were back to being Nomads, exactly 14 years after his father was crowned the emperor of Hindustan.

Google image search for Nomads

While Humayun was wandering in the Persian wilderness, begging to different Monarchs for a few crumbs of support, a son of a Hindu priest and a salt petre trader, Hem Chandra a.k.a Hemu was fast rising up the ranks of Islam Shah, the successor of Sher Shah Suri. Initially made the minister of commerce for his administrative acumen, Hemu became his chief advisor and confidante.  So important was Hemu, that when an upstart called Adil Shah seized the throne in 1553, Hemu was elevated to the post of the Prime Minister. This, when all the other Islam Shahi court members were executed.

While Adil Shah was busy drinking and boning away to glory, Hemu was ruthlessly putting down insurrections against the new Emperor. When he was in Bengal in 1555, the nomad Humayun returned to India with an army. He killed Adil Shah, crowned himself the Emperor of Hindustan and declared war on Hemu.

You don’t piss a guy like Hemu off.

Hemu embarked on a campaign that mirrored Genghis Khan in tactical brilliance and strategy. Mughal territories fell like dominoes as Hemu won 22 consecutive battles against various Mughal generals. Such was Hemu’s might, that the commander of the Mughal city of Agra, ran away in pure terror when he saw Hemu’s armies. As the final stamp of his domination, Hemu marched onto Delhi and routed the Mughal army there under some dude called Tardi Beg.  Christening himself as Hema Chandra Vikramaditya, he crowned himself the emperor of Hindustan in 1556, thus becoming India’s first Hindu Emperor after 350 years of uninterrupted Islamic rule. Unfortunately though, he was to become the last.

While Hemu was marching towards Delhi,  Humayun managed to get himself killed by falling down a flight of stairs. His death left the 13 year old, Jalal Ud-Din Mohammad Akbar as the Emperor of whatever was left of the Mughal empire. Seeing Hemu’s charge, Akbar’s Persian adviser Bairam Khan, considered running away to Kabul. However, as a last throw of the dice, he attacked Delhi with whatever was left of his army.

They clashed with Hemu at Panipat on the 5th of November 1556, which History calls the Second battle of Panipat.

Hemu, being a daredevil, was atop his battle elephant, personally leading his Afghan troops into battle. Bairam Khan was three miles behind. Dividing his army into three flanks, Hemu’s initial charge shattered the Mughal flanks and cavalry. With their main strength annihilated, the severely disoriented and disorganized  Mughal army at that point of time was like a rabbit standing in front of a hunting lamp, totally defenceless and ready for slaughter.

Then, fate intervened.

Mughal’s tactics to counter Hemu’s elephant army, consisted of shooting random arrows at the mastodons and praying to God they hit. Unsurprisingly, the tactic never worked. This time, by some freak of fate

One of those arrows hit Hemu in his eye. 

Hemu’s first reaction to this was to remove the arrow and continue the fight. But because of incessant blood loss, Hemu eventually slumped in his howdah unconscious, but alive. His troops though, sadly assumed he was dead. Demoralized due to the apparent loss of their General, they lost their co-ordination. Which was when Bairam Khan ordered the reserves to charge. The now disorganized army, wilted before the Mughal reserves and were annihilated. Hemu was captured and beheaded by the thirteen year old Akbar and Bairam Khan. His torso was hung outside the Purana Qila in Delhi as a warning to others. And Bairam Khan, got a skull wall made out of Hemu’s soldiers.

Life and death, for Hemu, was like an African’s left hand. Neither right nor fair.

What if the arrow hadn’t hit him?

The reign of the Mughals, would have ended before it even started. And, we would have been a Hindu Monarchy under Hemu XVIII. So, No Taj Mahal, Red Fort, unnecessary Mughal glory in our history books and

No Akbar-Birbal tales

If not for that freak arrow, Hemu would have obliterated the Mughals to a state worse than their erstwhile nomadic existence. Hemu would have triumphed at Panipat and it would have been Bairam Khan’s torso instead that would have hung at Purana Qila. Akbar, the thirteen year old kid, would have either been exiled to Central Asia or killed outright to prevent future conflicts. Most probably the latter.

Hindustan, would have had a Hindu King. But with a difference. He would have had active support of his Muslim subjects. Because Hemu never made any religious distinctions. He even convinced Afghan warriors, radical Islamists all of them, to call him Badshah and fight for his Hindu standard. Hemu was a firm believer in meritocracy and was probably the first secular king in medieval India.

Now the bigger picture. By being a Hindu, when all the empires were divided on religious lines, Hemu would have secured the support of the next most powerful people at that time, the Hindu Rajputs.. And this would have been in addition to the support of the Afghan warlords. So, for the first time in the History of India, you would have had an Emperor who had the support of both the majority and the minority. Which would have been bad news for his opponents, the renegade Muslim sardars of the Delhi Sultanate and Mughals, in the Indian hinterland.

Whenever Hemu would have marched against them , they would not have had a sniff of a chance. As a result, India, would have been born long, before the British arrived. And in this India, both Hindus and Muslims would have lived peacefully as their Emperor, did not make any religious distinctions.

Going ahead into the future, there would have been no Shivaji and all the other Anti-Mughal Indian emperors. They existed because of the Mughals. Now replace Muslim Mughals, with a Hindu Hemu. Shivaji and company, would have not only accepted Hemu IV, but would have joined him. And Hemu IV, recognizing their prowess, would have made them important cogs in his machine. Think of this like, Hemu+Shivaji+Everyone else…

And that, would have meant big problems for our eventual rulers, the British. When they arrived in India, they mainly faced petty and scheming Indian kings, all trying to cut each other’s throats. All Brits had to do was play one against the other, which they did brilliantly. But here, their opponent would have been a united and a powerful Indian empire led by Hemu VI. If they as much as raised a finger, Hemu VI would have cut their freaking head, packed it onto a ship and sent it back to England as a warning. So no Pax Brittanica for India.

No Brittania,  No Mountbatten, No Nehru, No Commonwealth and finally no Suresh Kalmadi and the Commonwealth Games scam in 2008.

Suresh Kalmadi, seen thanking the unnamed archer

But for that freaking arrow.

                                  Go to Part II


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214 thoughts on “Four little things that shaped India: Part 1

  1. dude. terrific writing. i loved it. just like that i clicked the FB link.
    wud like be a regular reader of ur writings ( on history ).

  2. Great writing. I enjoyed reading…

  3. Eye opener :P Really enjoyed reading it.

  4. Awesome writing… felt like reading Madhan’s “Vandaargal..Vendraargal” in more funny way… I love history and your writing style would make everyone love History.. keep writing more like these!

  5. good writing mate , but your history is rather weak. it is a train passenger’s sense of history..anyway carry on but it is unfortunate that you choose to pass this off as history. it is just a blog, you can call it semi-fiction based on some historical material. but you do write well. hats off for that. just to give you an example, hemu was not a hindu. check carefully.
    the rest of the argument is quite reductive. your first post about saying no to rulers of khwarzaim is correct but not many parts of the story behind and after it

    • First of all, thanks for the appreciation of writing skills. Really means a lot to me.

      I have tried to be as factually correct as possible. So whenever I have stated a fact, I think I have backed it with a source. If you find any unqualified statements, please do point out and I will only be happy to point where I took it from.

      And as far as Hemu being Hindu is concerned, well He was a Hindu, and to be precise a Baniya. Here is the source, a book by a John Keay, the author of the book that I feel is the most comprehensive on Indian History

      http://books.google.co.in/books?id=AUPZt-4yqzQC&pg=PT277&dq=john+keay+hemu&hl=en&sa=X&ei=PS4eT8DAJMvIrQeI5ZygDA&ved=0CDYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

      If you have any source on the fact that Hemu was not a Hindu, please do let me know.

      And also, please point the other historical discrepancies, so that I may correct them.

    • Counter-factual History is also History but may appear odd to most of the Historians, though I would prefer not to read too much into singular events, but would like to understand the particular event as contributing to to the wider currents which facilitate the historical outcome, which is often associated as a product of that particular event.
      As far as the question of semi-fiction based on historical material is considered, theoretically, no claim can be made to distinguish it from history proper, per say…

    • dude … even a 6th grader knows that Hemu was the hindu commander in chief of sher shah suri’s brigade.. and regarding the facts being a little wrong here , who cares ?? are u gonna write ur UPSC using this blog’s material ?? proble m with guys like u is that u morons are devoid of any fun and humour , and always eager to point fault.. why u ever cared to visit this blog !!

  6. Brilliant…
    Liked the rubies and the boobies!!! LOLZZZZ..
    Also Kalmadi thanking the archer!

  7. Awesome piece of information. Keep it going!

  8. Great Piece!! informative and interesting!!

  9. Awesomely written bro.. do keep writing..

  10. Fantastic writing… Engaging facts and incidents presented in a very enjoyable and entertaining manner… Loved the Kalmadi part !!!

    In context of the theme of the post, hope you have watched the movie – ‘The butterfly effect’…?

  11. One of the most interesting reads i have come across. well written..highly appreciated..

  12. a very good read! I really liked the style! A quick comment: Just because Hemu was secular, wouldn’t automatically mean Hemu VI would have been secular too! In fact, in my limited knowledge, Akbar was quite secular but that was not true for the subsequent rulers! So, I wouldn’t agree that much to the latter part of the counter-factual story that follows. In fact, I am not quite sure whether India would have been a better place without the Mughal Empire or even without the British Empire! It is very much debatable!

  13. This is some good piece of history.. Humoruous at the same time informative.. good combination which keeps the user continuingly read without a stop..One suggestion, some of the references which you had refered are very vast. Say “bio weaponery used by Genchis khan”.. OMG i lost patience reading the reference :)
    On the whole i had some good time reading yours..Hats off

  14. Excellent read. Although I haven’t ever really been a history buff, your article has piqued my interest.

  15. hemu was not a priest he was mahajan as i hv the information.
    origion of hemu was maachadi rajgarh alwar rajasthan.
    will v help me with this origion data.

  16. Fantastic.
    You should put up your references. Not to call you on it. Just so we have further readings.

  17. A little bit cracked wannabe but good writing nonetheless

    • It is not a little bit, but an entirely cracked wannabe. Cracked was/is and always will be an inspiration and I believe that is the only way you can make history more interesting.

  18. great writing but why have you shown jammu-kashmir in pakistan :x

  19. rajputs being natural allies of hemu the so called indian king is a fallacious theory.Had it been the case babar would never been invited into india.Remember babur was invited in india to defeat the last lodhi sultans by rana sanga arguably the most brave king of his day.Muslim or shall we say central sian intervention in india was inevitable considering technological and military backwardness of india.It would be nice to point out that Babur defeated the kingdoms of hindustan with an army that was smaller in size as compared to him.If it had not been mughals it would have been others like iranians or other central asian tribe.Another thing that presupposes the various posssiblities is the fact that empire of hemu would have lasted for 350 years as did mughals .It is mere wishing and the author provides no substanitation of the fact .Despite talking about hindu muslim unity the author has a inclination towards hindu rule .if they were united and ruling as indians what diffrence it would have made whether it was ruled by hindu or muslim.The basic antagonism between mughals and rajputs because of religion is extremely fallacious.Religion almost never becomes the crux of political fight.Shivaji was antagnostic to aurangzeb because he took away his independence and not because he was a muslim.Such assumption is because of the way the british taught history.middle ages being the rule of muslims and so on.Such interpretation of history was used to foment religious strife and distrust.shivaji was used by RSS and others to further this propaganda.These are dirty politics and it is better that we as indian or as inheritors of a composite civilization should believe in this misguided propaganda.

    • First, I do not know of your source from where you derived that it was Rana Sanga of Mewar who invited Babur. From what I know, Rana Sanga and Babur were sworn enemies,and clashed against each other at the battle of Khanua. And as far as the technological obsolesence of the Indian armies were concerned, I believed Hemu defeated the mughals, with match lock muskets and other weaponry, 22 times in a row, with a numerically inferior army. SO he was quite on top of his technology. And I am sure, Hemu with all his intelligence, would have ensured his armies were equipped with the best 1500′s had to offer.

      Hemu and his empire would not have lasted 350 years, or it very well could have. Hemu was an awesome administrator and I am sure he would have planned for his sucession. When you can convince a Muslim army, to fight against another Muslim army, and get to call them infidels, you must be some guy. And also, I can substantiate only facts, and half of this post is assumption. And with the data I have provided, I believe my assumptions are in order.

      Also, there is a difference between a United Hindu India, as a United Muslim ruled India could have never been sustained. A Muslim king, had to be secular to attain the support of the majority. And at a certain point the secular part had to go. But a Hindu king did not have the above compulsion. Simply because 90 percent of your ruling population, is Hindu. So come what may, every future Indian king would have supported Hemu’s successor. Which brings me to the point that

      Religion was always an important part in all the campaigns and wars fought in the medieval era. Like it or not, it is a fact. Be it Akbar, who called Hemu an infidel or Aurangazeb, who called Shivaji an infidel. Akbar called his campaign against chittor and other rajput states as Jihad, just to motivate his troops. Religion was everything. And when that component is taken out, well, you wouldn’t have had wars against Rajputs and later Shivaji. Which makes my assumption that United India would have spelt doom for the British valid and realistic.

      • I do not want to be harsh but get your facts correct .Ibrahim lodhi was an unpopular ruler and both his nobles and rana sanga invited babur to fight him.(mughal empire by j richards).But rana did not want babur to stay for long so then there was fight between the two at khanua.It is well known fact that indian army in late ancient india was not technologically and militarily advanced.The means of warfare were going through a dramatic change during these times .The lack of horse (horse was always imported in india and for some reason horse breeding was not done in our country – Romila thapar History of india 1) also compounded matters for indian army.Infact during these times cavalry started being extensively used.The use of metal stirrups aided the attack by mounted archers.Indian armies until those times had no cavalry or little developed cavalry.Only infantry and elephants were used.The truth is this new methods of warfare was primary the reason for expansion of arabs empire and the ruin of roman civilization by barbaric central asian tribes.You cant argue for the case of technological advancements in the case of Hemu as the mughals and turks(delhi Sultanate had infiltrated india by these times .

        Again the premise that Hemu would have had a smooth succession line is based on nothing but wishful thinking point in case being Asoka who was a brilliant ruler but his successors were not upto the mark .I mean just the line that hemu would have planned for the continuation of his rule because he was an able administrator is childish.Can Albert Einstein ensure that his grandson is intelligent ??? or for that matter even a scientist.???.
        you also seem to be think lowly of muslim intervention in india.The mughal empire was one of the finest empire of late medieval period.India under mughals was an economic and political power and controlled as must as 50% of world GDP.indian culture received dizzying heights under Mughals .They gave us Taj Mahal ,Urdu,peacock throne etc.The fact that the british interpretation of history had so much permeated in our mind that we refuse to recognize the muslim rule as the rule by foreigners certainly but those foreigners who became assimilated in the great indian mixture.

        Religion is always used as a tool to justify the rule or attack .But never used as a main plot or reason.for example mahmud of ghazni wo is well known for pundering temple and looting india .WHy did he plunder ??? according to him it was because he wanted to destroy idoltary and spread islam.But had it been the case It would have better if he engaged himself in forcible conversion .he did that too but not widely.Actually he wanted money for rebuilding his kingdom which was ravaged by war and for financing his empire building in central asia.

        again the premise that a hindu king compared to a muslim would have enjoyed the support of majority of kings of india is childish.Had it been the case how could almost all of india fought the britishers under the name of the last of the great mughals bahudar shah zaffar in 1857.Certainly there were many hindu like nana saheb who were able and willing .Even aurangzeb who was not secular had the support of many hindu chieftains and kings Rajput included.Ghiyas ud din balban too had the support of hindu nobles though he imposed taxes on non muslims.Actually its socio economic status that determines politics.A hindu nobles of an upper caste or even a saeed muslim noble would support an inept muslim or hindu ruler than a sudra hindu king.Is aristrocracy that forms a separate religion its always aristrocracy and the others.

        India had always been the home of migrants .people(lesser historians remember muslim rule as foreign rule because they have the memory of muslims coming from outside but what they forget is that hinduism or the religion of the majority is also a migrant religion aryans were not the original inhabitants .So this debate about homegrown and alien ruler is nothing but a means for political propaganda.British were not able to recognize this diversity and tolerance of india and their history or their sponsored history carries stains of this inablity

        • Thanks for taking the time out to reply.

          But Sir, I would like a source, a definitive source, to know that Sanga invited Babur to Delhi. In fact I will consider it illogical as Babur himself was a struggling nomad, who was thrown out of his capital Samarkand by shaibani Khan. Here is an overview of Babur, by The Economist, a source as trustworthy as any, on babur. There is no mention of him being invited by Sanga to capture India. Babur’s only intention to capture India was for its booty and the fact that the ruling Lodi’s were in strife. Have covered about Babur in a previous pot of mine.

          I personally have a problem with Romila Thapars version Of Indian history, if you read my previous posts on how much of Indian History she has ignored in favour of the islamists. Call it Hindu Bias, but the fact remains that We Indians only read about Invaders and none of our own. And Sadly, even you have fallen into the trap. Mughal’s might have controlled 50 percent of GDP, but beore that, Indian rulers at their peak, like the Palas and Cholas, would have controlled much more. It is just that we don’t read about it. Yes the Islamic empire had some advantages, buut overall they caused more harm than good. Wait for my Greatest Heist Part 3 and 4 for elaboration on that front.

          And you haven’t answered my question on how Hemu, with the so called technological obsolesence, win 22 consecutive battles against the technologically superior Mughals? Yes we did not have horses, but the persians and the turks did not have elephants. And hemu had freakin elephants that fired cannons. And in a straight fight between horse and elephant, you know who wins. As far as the game changing gunpowder of the Turks, even Hemu had his share of artillery. He even imported cannon making technology from the portuguese, and even had a factory to make them in Rewari. As I said, my view that Hemu would be on top of his technology is creditable.

          If Indian culture did reach dizzying heights during Mughals, why forcible conversions, cutting of heads and building skull walls and jiziya to name a few, during the reign of Mughals and their ancestors?

          As far as religion is concerned, I do not know how to convince you of its importance. Ghazni did not stay in India, simply because he did not want to stay in India. And he was harried by Rajputs and locals all the way. But whenever he sacked India, he always used religion as his calling. Also calling his struggle jihad was Mohammad ghauri. And Timur, grandpa of Babur, who said the delhi sultanate was too tolerant of its kaffirs or something. And all his massacres had one redeeming point, in every city, the Muslims were spared. Make what you want of it, but religion was a big thing. Please read India a History by John Keay to know more.

          ANd finally, in 1857, all rallying under Bahadur Shah Zafar was akin to all rallying under Manmohan Singh’s flag today. He was docile, incompetent, did not have a voice and was the consensus candidate. Secularism had nothing to do with it. ANd hindu nobles, mostly were opportunists, who aligned with the side in power. So if there was a Hindu king, they would have aligned with him as well. But the kings who opposed the Mughal rule, like, Maha Rana Pratap, would also have aligned with Hemu, thus creating, as I said, India, much before the British Came.

      • Every king in every part of this country if not, indeed, of the world, has claimed to be on the side of the good, and therefore, god, when fighting an enemy, and particularly while raiding a country. Irrespective of their larger religious organisation. If you check out the history of just one place, which is now known as the Qutub Minar, you will learn about the Hindu and Buddhist structures that were raised and razed by other Hindu and Buddhist rulers before the Muslims entered the picture. And every king who lost was labelled an infidel by the winner/usurper. So your assumptions are not only false, but rather idealistic on behalf of ‘Hindu’ rulers. Also, religion is only ever called upon by politicians when they need legitimization of some sort, and only very rarely out of their true belief in the superiority of their religion. The term Hindu is in any case contentious, and includes various different communities that are more, or less, integrated in terms of their belief systems. Did you know that even now, when people use the term ‘Muslim’ as an opposite to the term ‘Hindu’ in the media, in many parts of India, the term Muslim is used as a ‘jaati’ name? So all your assumptions about Hemu’s successors unifying India by erasing all their differences in the name of Hinduism are, in terms of history, balderdash, I’m afraid!

        • If Muslims use Islam as a rallying point you are ok with it and even justify it on some socialist or communist rubbish, but for Hindus it is vorbotten , why or you think Hindus are some lesser species and they have no need for their own place in the Sun.
          this is not going to be acceptable no more and the Romilla Thapar brand of balderdash will be thrown in the dustbin .

    • dude nitish, u r maybe rite in terms of facts. however ks is not claiming that he is writing history book, he is merely writing his thoughts. why dont u 2 write ur thoughts independently instead of criticizing here. i enjoyed n so did so many others. moreover only somebody who has studied the ancient scriptures and researched would be able to say what history was…

  20. Love the writing, awesome shit… I just kept on reading…

  21. Why weren’t you the one who wrote our history books!!!!???? We all would have scored straight A’s is school!!!! Awesome way of putting the pieces of the tale!!! :D

    • A lot of people after reading this call me an insult to the holy study of history.. So the opinion on me writing the textbook may not please a lot of people you know :)

      But thanks for the compliment and encouragement to write more

      • Must keep writing though. Romila Thapar and her ilk must be put where they should be. Behind closed doors and windows. Enough of damage has been done. Francois Gautier. Now is the time for people like you to speak out and speak up. Translate, print and spread in India’s vernacular hinterland. Forget comments of a few Romila Thapar Delhi Wallahs. They do not exist in this day and age of information.

      • just great,great,great!I will try to forward your writings to kapil Sibbal so children start reading Histor books,and by the way do you write on mathematics too?and why not do it?You will do a great favour to crores of Indian children(and their parents too)

      • this is just pure speculation but could have very well been possible, makes it a great time pass, and helps me refresh my history.

  22. Just one part of history of one part of so called “India”. There are lot of missing info’s.

  23. This is Just Awesome.. Hisotry was never so ineresting.. Well wriiten and supported with facts.

  24. Wow. Brilliant man. Where’d you come across all this, if i may ask?

    • Well, not one source. Initial thought was from a book called Freedom at Midnight, which listed the Gurdaspur thing as one of the tipping points in our struggle to get Kahsmir. Which made me wonder, whether, what if Radcliffe swayed the other way? And same thought came when I read about Hemu’s arrow, Iltutmish saying no, and the battle of Palashi.

      It is not like I read all this to create this post. It was just sitting there in my mind, till I gathered the patience to pen it down in a ‘What If’ chronicle.

  25. real interesting and really gripping. u have a gift maan… do continue the good work

  26. Awesome style of writing. Not a big fan of the RSS/BJP version of “history” but then each to his own, and good writing is good writing.

    • Thanks for the appreciation..

      And, Why do you think this is ‘RSS/BJP’ version of History?

      • Well, wrong phrase usage on my part, I should clarify: what I meant to say was the “RSS/BJP/Hindutva” INTERPRETATION of our history.

        We would have all lived “happily ever after” under a Hindu king, who would have kicked out the Brits? How can one say for sure? In my humble opinion, “we” (though the opinion that there was a concept of we, as in India, at that time is itself tenuous) have always been sadly adept at NOT getting along with each other. If it’s not against a ruler of a different religion, it would have been against a ruler from a different sub-cast. sect, etc.

        The conjecture that everything would have been “better” had the Mughals or the British not come down is first of all conjecture and secondly, even if we accept that, what can we do about it now? Historical fact is historical fact, nothing can change the fact that we were invaded multiple times.

        I don’t want to politicize this and detract from a great piece of writing, but it’s no secret that this line of thought, that “had the Mughals not invaded, India would have been a great Hindu nation today” is one of the BJP/RSS platforms. The truth is no one can say for sure and we just need to move on and make this a truly great nation that cares for ALL it’s citizens.

        • Well, the theory that Had Mughals not Invaded, India would have been a Hindu nation, is fundamentally flawed, because at the time of the first Mughal Invasion, Babur 1536, India was ruled by the Islamic Delhi Sultanate. So If Mughals had not invaded, it would still have been the Delhi Sultanate.

          However, At the second battle of Panipat, the most powerful guy in India, was a Hindu. Hemu ruled from Bengal to Delhi when he fought at Panipat, so he was pretty much the dude of the country at that time. Had Akbar lost, which would have been the case if not for that arrow. Hemu would have emerged as the unquestioned emperor of the sub-continent.

          Now given the fact that Rajputs would have been more inclined to support a Hindu monarch in return for their feifdom, there was no one stopping Hemu. And all this happened when Hemu was about 40. SO he still had 30 years to capture and put into place an organized structure for his empire. And going by his behaviour till that point, he was very capable of doing it.

          My interpretation, or what-if premise if Hemu had won the battle of Panipat is not that India would have been a Hindu rashtra, but a monarchy under a Hindu Ruler. I am sure you understand the difference between the two.

        • Thanks for the clarification. And I’m sure you understand that in a what-if scenario, it’s equally possible that the Rajputs would NOT have been inclined to support Hemu.

          My point is simply that no one can say for sure which way things, history, would have played out. The only absolute is the way things actually played out. And I realize that the article was indeed a series of what-if scenarios, but the point should be stressed that historical conjecture, no matter how well reasoned, is still only that- conjecture.

        • the britis did hurt our prospects a lot but they helped us open up as well, we have a democracy( not a great one but its gotta count for something) , railways, the english language, due to the involuntary british influence. I am just thankful for that.

  27. HAHA you are awesome. that was a great read :D

  28. Brilliant writing that made history interesting to read.. Thanks mate.. Keep writing more

  29. Hi KS, that is an amazing way to write history. If presented this way, kids would love to read history. With you having stated that you have a problem with Romila Thapar’s history, I wouldn’t want to debate on the Hindutva agenda….it depends on what one’s source of history is. Loved a lot of portions in this post – for instance, the picture you got for ‘Nomads’ from google. Please do write more. Also, loved the debate between you and Nitish.

    • Thanks for the appreciation…I will write more.

      I don’t get just one point. Please don’t call me a hindu/rss guy just because I don’t like Romila Thapar. Yes, I am more inclined towards the Bjp, but it is more because I am against the congress for its rampant corruption and dynastic policies and bjp is the only credible opposition. It is not coz of silly things like Hindutva.

      My grouse against Romila Thapar is that she is too soft towards our Islamic rulers. And she is biased towards them, at the cost of Indian ones. I mean all the Indian emperors I have read about in my textbooks, were always mentioned in passing. Pretty much like the vicco vajradanti ad before a movie in a theatre. Which according to me is wrong.

      I want the kids to learn our entire history. Yes teach about Mughals in detail as they ruled our country for 200 years. But also teach them about Indian kings, who pretty much ruled for a 1000 years. And If you teach about the Mughals, please tell them about some of the not so nice things they did. Please read my post about this, here and here.

      I hope it clears your doubts about my non existent hindutva bias.

      • Hi KS, I should have said, “seemingly Hindutva agenda” . I agree with your point of view about teaching true history. For a lot of Indians, including me, the only association with history is through the school text books. And at that age, I believe personally that it is best to avoid anything that may implant hatred. But of course, a rationally thinking person, should have the chance to read the true history. Not many of us, have the habit of reading bulky history books. Your blog can do its bit in gaining the attentions of the facebook generation towards history and be a window to what other history books do not tell us.

        • Well, I am trying…And please, even you share it with as many people as you want. Even If one person’s head turns towards History, I will consider my blog a success.

        • in this case u r already successful my friend….

  30. Loved your writing KS…. have to admit… though not being much of a history buff.. you have ignited an interest in me…..

  31. Solid Stuff Bro !
    Love your style of writing and how you deal with things ! :)

    • And oh , Jus went thru ur blogroll !
      And guess what , am a Huge Cracked.com n’ Krish Ashok Fan too ! xD
      Hi-Five Bro !

  32. This was great, I was just unable to stop anywhere in between, no matter, how much urge I had to open up the links provided in the article, here and there.
    Keep writing dude.
    And I just can’t wait for the 2nd and the 1st thing that shaped India.
    Is it available already, OK, Let me search it here first.

  33. awesome article, after a long time .. an article managed to compel me to go through it till the end :D

    wish that arrow had missed !!! :(

  34. i don’t read much but this post just kept me wanting to read on…this is so well written and well structured..read d second part too..if only history was taught this way!

  35. “Life and death, for Hemu, was like an African’s left hand. Neither right nor fair.” this is fucking racist. :) Please try to be neutral as I expect this to be ‘unofficial’ India history textbook for kids.

    • dont think its racist.. just a smirking attempt at humour .. perhaps to perk up the attention half way through the narrative.. and KS.. if you do harbour a racist bone in your person.. may that unfair claw crawl up and poke you in the eye.

  36. Freaking loved it !!

  37. Good one! Loved your humor in the article :)

  38. Ahhh…how I wish that arrow was missed! Its all fate after all! btw absoluely loved your post, do keep writing more, would like to learn more, and this is a fun way of doing that :)

  39. haha well written..even in wishful thinking HEmu the hindu king !!! would be accepted in all India..is unbeleivable..look at even today’s India Hindus aer’nt united…and they hate each other..only ppl united in India are muslims, christian and sikhs..

    I like the Genghas Khan humor..Baghdad was a green pasture now it’s a desert even after 700 yrs later…haha
    “Genghis Khan happened to them.” that sums it all..that Khan was really terrible..
    there was report some yrs back that Genghis was the biggest rapist and in whole central asian countries his chromosome runs with all the men..Y chromosome !!! now we can laugh about him but he was really something…and it’s western countries that portray him as barbarian ..just because he invaded from east to west..and when the same thing was done by Alexander from west to east he was said a great warrior..

  40. If my aunt had balls, she would be my uncle…or not! Bottom line is that a country, region or a civilization like any other thing in life is cyclical in nature. What if Mohenjo-Daro and Harappa existed forever? Well, let’s travel further in time and wonder what if the Pandiyas maintained control over the entire sub-continent from Kanyakumari to Kashmir? What if the southern kingdoms didn’t constantly fight and had some vision and leadership to protect their masses?
    Shit happened, happens and will happen! I’d take history as it is and not wonder what if. I hope you can take that perspective and continue to feed us with facts in a fun way to read.
    Cheers!
    -Arun

  41. Nicely written, but what’s with the pictures? Go easy on the pictures; you do not need to add so many jokes, its interesting on its own!

  42. Shesha – Nice. Very nicely written. You seriously think of writing a fiction- you might win a booker prize like aravind adiga :-) First of all good to see lot of comments. Guess u r readership base is growing :-) lot of people who found this interesting would have read the other articles as well i guess.

    Now my view about this one. I found this more of your ” what if ” dream ( Chaos theory and butterfly effect ) in addition to History. I really doubt your dreams esp your dream of so called hindu secular kingdom by Hemu 1 to 99 not out.

    Lot of people have replied sensibly for that and why it would not have happend also.

  43. Simply Brilliant !!

  44. Pingback: indian history « true void

  45. Superb!!! I was disappointed that it ended!! Amazing work!! Cheers..

  46. Well while what you wrote about Gurdaspur (also Firozpur) given to India when it had Islam majority is a fact to look good on map. Reality is Lahore was given (which had Islam as minority) to Pakistan so that West Punjab has a big city. Also Chittagong was given to East Pakistan as they wanted to have Port for East Pakistan. Reality is Chittagong was Muslim majority and only 81 Km from Agartala. If chittagong was in India many of the problems of NE would have got solved due to access of port rather than 24 hour journey thru chickens neck. Partition was unfair to India as well.

  47. Awesome read! Am gonna be a regular reader from here on!

  48. Really engrossing read. Loved the fact that so many hyperlinks (to related incidents, persons etc) were added. Gotta recommend this to everyone….

  49. Really Interesting writing . I am also a history enthusiast and crawl around wikipedia and other sites for information . I was on google news and opened a link on our Mallyaji’s flamboyant KF airlines where your article was present and a link to your site . Now that i have found your site i cant stop reading your articles . I dont know how authentic the articles are in terms of facts but they make one heck of a reading any day . SO keep up the good work :)

  50. Dear KS, I read your piece as fiction. ‘What if’ is always fascinating and ‘what if’ can never be ‘history’, more likely ‘fantasy’. Not to say its wrong to fantacize, that makes for great reading as well. Sometimes we need to stop bothering about past (or future) and just enjoy a literaty piece for the fun and joy that you derive from it, your’s belong to that category and I congratulate you for that :)

    Keep writing :)

  51. Congratulations! Now bring out this message in all vernacular/languages.

  52. Ok dude historian tell me one thing.. Why dint Changez (Gengis is his english name) khan attack India in the first place… India was the richest economy of those times… I reference that fact if you need that… It was right below mongolia… I mean he went up till central asia and europe but completely missed the rich India…. Seek answer to that and you will start to uncover a lot …..

    • he did attack delhi twice and plundered its wealth. well atleast him or his descendants, and he was dead by the time mongols reached europe right? it was timur who gave europe a hard time.

  53. I loved it… Thanks

  54. Ur content has lot of hindu tinge attached.U said that Hemu+shivaji+all others…but shivaji was not against mughals…he was even given a post of 5000 mansabdari in Aurangazeb’s court.He rejected it and wanted much higher mansabdari bcos his son sambaji too had got the same mansabdari.If he would have given a good mansabdari rank he would have even stayed in Aurangazeb’s court.

    But Incidents were corrolated well…interesting to read…first of chengis khan was very much true…but regarding Akbar U have literally down played him and have compared to a kid…

    • at the second battle of panipat he was a kid…and if he would have lost, what do you think Hemu would have done to him??

      • its not a one on one battle…Akbar became the king while Bairam khan was his regent till 1560…so it was Bairam khan who had the war with Hemu…

    • R u nuts? Shivaji was a great king and he was insulted and deceived by Aurandzeb during Agra meet. Later shivaji escaped strategically. Don’t say anything irrelevant like he would have stayed with Aurangzeb’s court.

  55. Great fun to read!

  56. cool man.. nice blog.

  57. awesome bro, keep on rocking

  58. Excellent writing , thanks for helping us to know more about our history.

  59. You are a creative genius… Loved the 1st part… off to the 2nd one to witness more history… :)

  60. Hii…nice article.

    I liked the point you have brought from history and will rank writing style second (rather third). Truly speaking, your writing let me make a mental imagery of incidents but many times an odd joke or silly comparison spoiled the fun. Point is I like history in slightly serious form.

    I also like to add one more important event, it didn’t went unnoticed, as I find that on Wikipedia:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maharana_Pratap#Battle_of_Haldighati

    It is during the battle of Haldighati, between Maha Rana Paratap Singh of Mewar and Mughal Army led by another rajput Man SIngh working for Akbar. Mughal army was much larger in strength than the Pratap’s army.

    During the battle, Rana Pratap suffered severe injuries and his ministers suggest taking him out of the war. One of his lieutenant use’s Pratap royal dress to impersonate him and real Pratap left the battlefield on Chetak.

    Now here comes the point, which is very small to forget, but had deep impact into the nation’s history. As Pratap left and another brave warrior impersonated as Pratap, two of the Turk soldiers from Akbar’s army saw that. But they could not communicate this to other soldiers due to linguistic barrier. So only these two followed injured Pratap riding Chetak, and Pratap’s brother Shakti Singh also followed.

    Shakti Singh was fighting from the side of mughals, but at this point his heart changed and he killed the two Turks saving his brother Pratap.

    Pratap then fled to Aravalli hills where he spent rest of his life trying to fight for Chittorgarh. He spent around 40 years in hills and forests as he vowed to bring Chittor back from Mughals. After Rana Pratap, his son Amar Singh also continued this fight against mughals for some time.

    But due to Pratap’s great efforts, Mewar remained India’s only independent kingdom during the mughal’s regime with its captial at Chittor. If those two truks had communicated about fleeing Pratap, Pratap most probably would hadd been killed there, and mewar could no longer fight that strong anf that long as independent state.

    Also read:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maharana_Pratap#Present-day_status

    I believe history of Chittor and Mewar is one which each and every Indian should read. It is story (my hearts sinks as I call this great history a story) of braveness, courage, faith, sacrifice, pride and almost everything. Hail the great people of mewar.

  61. yaa. nice writing.. with a clean sense of humour.. but i guess u have made a hell lot of assumptions.i.e if the arrow had not hit hemu, then there wud have been a hemu XVII or somethnig u have written.. i understand the humour behind it, but who knows, just like the battle of panipat turned up, there cud have been another battle which could have swiped hemu’s reign. and ur assumption of a hindu dynasty would have gone with the wind. !! :)

  62. Please just watch this once.

    You have written wonderfully! But it’s sad that so much energy is spent on such a futile study.

  63. Dude u r god…. a combination of a good narrative sense, humour, and historical facts clinched it

    As a connoseiur of history, medieval and ancient, I loved it

    Keep ‘em coming

    Regards

    Vish

  64. WoW Kaipullai..

    I am an avid reader of Cracked.com and their satirical and thought provoking style of writing..
    I dont know if you are also inspired by it.. but by god i never expected a similar level of writing in an Indian context…
    Hats off man…

    BTW.. I guess there was one more crucial turning point when Dara Shikoh was betrayed by Malik… thus forking over the glorious Mughal empire to the (ahem! quite mad) Aurangzeb…
    If Dara had been in power,(being the intellectual and tolerant guy that he was) we would have seen a more united and secular empire facing the first of the nefarious divide and rule tactics of the British..
    But I guess his luckless life cannot be termed as “little thing”..

    and I would like to add that If the Khwarezmian had allied with Mongols.. even before Iltutmish’s no..
    would have left the western edge of the Mongoloid empire quite safe, thus to the south their next target would have been India, considering India was the richest place in the world with all the ” rubies and boobies ” on offer..

    But thankfully Ala Ud-Din was just a sorry asshole.. which turned the Mongol attention away from our “oh so closely wiped out” nation…

  65. Wow….this style of writing can create goosebumps in in a person who is just not interested in history….thanx a lot for this article…..

  66. this is great. I am from Assam and i used to be always angry when i was forced to read the history books…we have never been ruled by the mughals and the ahoms ruled here for 600 years. There were around 18 wars fought between the ahoms and the mughals and the former was always victorious. But we never read that in school did we? I just stumbled upon ur blog just now and am surely going to follow ur posts. Would love know if u could also shed some light towards the north eastern history. thanks!

  67. Nice and informative. Horses’ bloodlines were always difficult to maintain because of the climate. Heat takes its toll on the animals and therefore there used to be a deterioration in the ability of the horses over time. Fresh stock had to be continuously imported from central asia or europe to maintain quality.
    The aryan theory is also under fire because there is no proof at all about this. The inference is based on the similarity and changes in language as you go away from the point of origin. There has been no serious work by indian experts that could challenge the aryan supremacy theory propounded by europeans. This has been backed up by our ‘communist’ origin historians who always wanted us to feel inferior. Most people shall rememeber reading about the history and geography of countries other than India. In west bengal, only world history was taught till class 8.
    The worst part is that we have accepted everything that the invaders taught us. Christopher columbus discovered america is what we have been taught. He just charted a route between two continents.

  68. http://www.hinduismtoday.com/blogs-news/0,0,15.html

    Go down to ” History of Hindu India for Everyman” . While you catch Indian history by its hair and give it a graphic-laden shake, the global Hindus in Kauai appear to have lent gravitas to your view and done their own thing.

  69. Amazing posts and I eagerly wait for your new posts. I am amazed, no I dont believe it that you are younger than me. is it possible for a person younger than me to know so much history and current affairs. Amazing! (you must be 25-26, I assume)

    Loved your rebuttal to acorn. But I do agree with acorn in that liberal economy can reduce corruption. Reforms that reduce unecessary inervention of government is always a case which is going to reduce corruption. Not arguing that all of it should go away. But. take for example, transporting goods between state boundaries. This is laden with corruption and also increases inflation. If we remove these boundaries and checks, one corruption is gone.

  70. History teaches me that Indians have the unique ability to deceive/chet their own, move to the enemy lines without hesitation for money and glory.

    All other cultures will have some such scoundrels, but Indians have had many with devastating impact. Most embarassing part of all of our history in my opinion.

  71. “Life and death, for Hemu, was like an African’s left hand. Neither right nor fair.” Awesome writing dude! One problem I see is you try to explain history in a very detailed manner(trying to spice it up for the reader which is good!) which means there is much fiction added obviously but then the question arises that how much of what you said is true….

  72. Kalmadi thanking the Archer is terrific man,You are in the mould Clive Cussler,History,Fiction(My opinion-I could be wrong)and a current incident.Bravo !

  73. AmaZing !!

    History with a mind and heart (and a wink of course :) !! This is so much better than the bland, soulless, sleep inducing gunk they dish out in schools…. Killing out the curiosity and inspiration of… wait killing future journos, or historians point blank by transhorrification into mindless IT guys (no offence, I was one) – its almost criminal !!!…..nd sad…

    Nywayz, this is one amazing blog man !! Keep writing :)

  74. Dude! Are you a time traveler by any chance ?!! You write like you have actually witnessed it! Totally brilliant!
    Never enjoyed reading history so much!

  75. Dude! Are you a time traveler by any chance?!! you write like you have actually witnessed it!

    Totally brilliant! Never enjoyed reading history so much!!

  76. Nirad Chaudhuri in his book The Autobiography of an Unknown Indian had a better analysis of Indian history.

    “There are three things about this affiliation of India with universal history which call for special emphasis. First in each cycle India has been drawn into or influenced by the historical movement which is the most important and significant of its age. When India became HIndu and Sanskritic Aryan expansion was certainly the most powerful force in human affairs over the Eurasiatic world. So was Islam in the days in which India was annexed by the Islamic order. On Europe as a force in modern times it really is not necessary to expatiate.”

  77. Very wittyand lucid manner of writting .Pl.keep up the style

  78. I am not qualified to comment on the historical analysis. It was nevertheless a hilarious read – I love your use of pidgin or what I guess is the new global norm! In general, butterfly effect hypotheses are in the realm of fantasy and make for great conversations over tea, beer, or your favorite beverage. Keep writing – it was fun to read.
    RGB

  79. I do like how you have given a fast-paced thriller action novel lift to history. Amazing work I must say.

    However, recounting history as a repackaged tale is one thing, but drawing conclusions out of what could have been, quite another. For the second story, its too far fetched to say a Hindu Hemu enjoying the patronage of both his Hindu and Muslim subjects would have managed to unify India and his descendants would have managed to hold off the British. Apart from religious strife, tyranny was a major reason for the emergence of countless rebels during the latter half of the Mughal empire. And tyranny is not only the Muslim ruler’s domain. Even before the arrival of the Mughals their were smaller kingdoms fighting the dominance of the Delhi empire. The place was just too divided ethnically to allow a single master for so long.

  80. Pingback: IMPORTANT SU*** | Pearltrees

  81. American history geek here — love your witty writing style and sense of historical causality!

  82. Terrific! You should write a history textbook. It would be a great hit among children and adults alike!

  83. u make history come alive – u can write very well and with humour (african left hand…) – your version may not be complete truth but at least it gives a different view from our politically correct(ed) text books

  84. Absolute brilliant writing!!! Would love if you write an article about the Peshwas, who were the Maratha rulers with the largest ever territory of Hindu rule under their control until of course like all Maharashtrian Brahmin families and businesses, family feud and deceit by trusted sardars like the Gaekwads of Baroda, Shindes (later Scindias) of Gwalior, to ally with British and defeat the Peshwas. This led to the British getting total control over India.
    Also, I was once reading about Lord Wellesley, the commander in chief of the British army who defeated Napoleon, he was also the commander in chief for the Anglo Maratha war. So after defeating Napoleon, he was honored in the British parliament and was asked about his “most difficult conquest”, on which he promptly replied. “after the Battle with the Peshwas, defeating Napoleon was child’s play. Defeating the Peshwas was and will always remain the most difficult battle and the greatest achievment of the British Empire.”

  85. genghis khan couldn’t defeat the iltutmish .if hindus fight for motherland no one even genghis khan couldn’t defeat them

  86. Pingback: Offbeat Sunday Reads:June 10,2012 | Alpha Ideas

  87. Hey KS……Many congratulations. This was such a pleasure to read. Please keep up the good job. Never feel obliged to justify yourself. Your blogs do a bloody good job of informing, entertaining and enriching people’s views. Best Wishes…..

  88. Hi… Loved every part of your writing and also the comments and the facts that you provided along with it….. Loved history though it was hard time remembering who did what and when:-). But Yes history was always been somebody’s opinion never been factual in its true sense… Loved your writing., keep up the great work….:-)..

  89. First correct the Indian map on your blog,

  90. Simply suberb..awesomest blog i had ever read..thank you for all your insight, hard work that has been put into hit. have turnd out to be a die hard fan of yours!!…

  91. Great combination of fact and imagination pal! You have good talent.

  92. Incredible style of writing…
    interesting hypothesis..
    But your imagination is outstanding…
    Your way of writing history makes it more interesting…
    would love to have more such posts…

  93. nice blog good insight into history with a very good sense of humor

  94. Great post mate.I have shared it on quora,with the reference.Hope that is fine.It will help in getting your content to a larger audience.

  95. Genghis khan did not invade Baghdad in 1258…he died in 1227 dude

  96. Brilliant!! Keep it up…

  97. An interesting read but a lot of it is just mere speculation. One of them is had Hemu not been killed, India might have skipped British rule! I mean common, what happened after Hemu died?? Are you sure the next generation of emperors would have carried his legacy?? I highly doubt it. Because when Akbar was the emperor, he too was a secular ruler with support of many Hindu kings. Nevertheless, I would say its well written but all its consequences are far fetched.

  98. Very well written. Really enjoyed reading this. You should consider posting this on cracked.com. Im sure it will be a huge success.

  99. Simply engrossimg.
    …a complete read stuff..

  100. dude… you should write a book on Indian history… people might actually learn a thing or two and realize how our history affects life as it is right now… i would definitely buy a copy!!!

  101. hey …too long old in the past to dwelve ; NOW
    What do we replicate Hemu’s and other learning’s in today’s world for same effect-
    1. What the arrows we can repeatedly throw at corruption or our corrupt leaders so that this elephant and its rider atleast get 1 hit in the eye
    2. Another point is look at reverting back to may be 8 states and not dis-integrating to 28 and do not know how many. by the time my child passes school can’t imagine the no of state capital cities – she will have to remember – was easier for us?
    3. Being religion tolerant and not using the same for short-term political purposes – way to implement that today – make the regional parties defunct from national politics – only national parties with presence in atleast 4 states or 25% populations states should be allowed to contest.
    4. Meritocracy – no successor allowed from immediate family to be allowed as leader. only those with years of social work track record to be allowed. Electoral reforms – where and nominations are not based on any names/face/publicity but a track record of social service/education and public impact of the individual. Upto 100 people impacted – eligible for only only village politics – 10000-district – >1mn- state level and so on
    Surely this can change the pace of our nation

  102. what a great style of writing!! knowing the history is not a big thing and most of the ‘Padhaku’ types know the facts.you are a truly talented writer & compiler who put the things in a great manner.keep it up.

  103. enjoyed reading this

  104. Good write-up, unique style. I should say though I don’t know anything that’s written is a fact or not, i should say i thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Kudos,,,

  105. nice writing. But y does ur map show J&K part of Pakistan??

  106. For those who don’t learn from history, history repeats itself on them.

  107. No Brittania, No Mountbatten, No Nehru, No Commonwealth and finally no Suresh Kalmadi and the Commonwealth Games scam in 2008. – Brilliant line :)

  108. great writing dude…it kept the intrst of reading till d last line

  109. Awesome insights dude… though you cant be sure how things would have turned out otherwise :P

  110. Errr…Gengis Khan was a muslim…as opposed to being as ‘infidel’ as you’ve claimed…along with many historical inaccuracies that you’ve claimed…Although the tonality is fun…

  111. excellent narration……well done…….:)

  112. A funny read…on a lighter note…do you think genghis khan would have assimilated all the kindgoms down south as well had he invaded? I dont have the comparable stats but i think the use of elephants by medieval kingdoms of india ( including the pandyans – rule around 1220?) would have given considerable advantage or edge. Also, his army would have atleast been weakened by the time he would have finished the conquest of delhi sultanate.

    Anything could have happened…but thank god he didnt..had he waited/existed or invaded by the time of arrival of vijayanagar empire, i badly if he would have conquered it all as well.

  113. I enjoyed reading your articles. Just finished this, then our KKNPP. Searching for more such interesting topics. You have a niche skill of presenting the text in a manner, which keeps reader engaged for the entire script. Good job.

  114. Brilliant! Greatly enjoyed reading. Forwarded it gladly. Keep on writing and enlightening us readers.

  115. really njoyed ur writing…history never sounded cooler…loved the colloquial tone 2 ur writing….keep on with the good work…

  116. though its an entertaining read, there are a lot of assumptions running around. if this-then that. these events would have definitely meant something if they happened. but they did not and hence just good food for speculative fiction.
    #noHardFeelings. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing!

  117. maybe we should put 5) British coming to India – Uniting a big country against a common enemy / Cause ( Birtish themselves ) into the mix as well..

    Also , the second world war weakening the british ?

  118. Worth reading the posting on a Sunday early morning with a coffee. Nice blend of facts and fiction. Keep going kaipullai…

  119. History was boring all this while… but not anymore… hats off to this great article..
    fan ++1

  120. What a…..! Man, this is awesome. Create a Picture-PPT. The script is just perfect. Perfect.

  121. I doubt the historical facts given here.
    Specially you claiming that Its chengiz khan that turned Bhagdad into desert, seriously is it ?
    Chengiz khan was ruthless, but it was in now way like that their will be no cats and dog alive after his invasion.
    In fact Chegiz khan is the only person on earth having longest and widest range of his descendent.

  122. Reblogged this on Kapil Jain and commented:
    A deep dive to the Indian History

  123. “rubies and the boobies on offer”?? rofl.. :D
    dude, amazing writing skills u’ve got., n on top of dat its ‘history’.. Enjoyed every bit of it. Keep Going. Good Luck!

  124. brilliant!! a spoof video would make it viral.. try that!..

  125. any reason to use this map showing J&K as a part of Pak?

  126. great writing, this is the way history should be taught in school so that they will enjoy it keep it up bro..

  127. I really want to know which particular emotion of yours urged you to think in this direction ..i mean why were you trying to correlate events of history of India . you want to know destiny of India.?..You are simply intrested in paterns .?.. this was just a general one night stand thing.?

  128. If only History was taught in such an interesting manner in school as this post. Loved every part of it, particularly the similes.

  129. Ha ha simply too good….
    The makers of akbar the great may not agree…

  130. Interesting read. But I don’t agree with ending. Akbar was also a great ruler and more or less united India and ruled as secular as possible. He event created his own religion. Problem were the sons who did not know exactly how manage and one of the worst one aka Aurangzeb went out of mind. Same could have happened with the sons of Hemu. As happened with sons of Ashoka.

  131. Pingback: History: There are lot more things in the history could have changed the entire look of India, What would be some of the instances in the INDIA could have changed the Indian History ? - One is Prithvi Raj Chauhan's defeat - Quora

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  134. Love your list !! Awesome !!

  135. I have never read something as voraciously as I read this one. Very unique style of writing. Thanks for all the fish and fun!!

  136. With due Appreciation to your Writing Style…I would like to put forth the following points for your consideration
    1. Babur was not a nomad…He was from the Royal Blood, his father was the King of Fergana, World Famous Rulers such as Timur and Genghis Khan were his ancestors.

    2. Just because Hemu was brave warrior does not mean it would have established Hemu Dynasty in India…Look at what happened post the death of Sher Shah (who was an established War Strategist, able administrator and the one who actually displaced Mughal Rule in first place) after Sher Shah’s death, succession war broke out and kingdom was broken into nearly three parts. Another example, Was any of Ashoka’ s successor successfully in keeping up his and Chandragupta’s legacy ??

    3. Even if we presume Hemu had defeated Akbar and won over Delhi…It does mean all the Hindu Kings in India would have accepted just because of his religion..When all the Rajput Kings did not rally under brave Rana Sangha…isn’t is bit immature to presume all Hindu Kings of the country would rally under Hemu. Infact all the Rulers had their own selfish interests which were at the forefront all decisions made by them…

    4. Mughals did not loot away India’s Wealth unlike the British. During Akbar’s Rule, India had a share of over 20% of World GDP (highest ever) and even during heydays of Mughal Rule we had a share of over 15 % of World GDP. When the British left, we had a share of about 1% of World GDP. Few of the prime reasons of increase in GDP during Mughal Rule was the improved connectivity with other regions, stability provided due to one strong central empire.

    • only akbar’s rule might have been just, but all other mughals did a good job at suppressing the hindus in their own homeland, remember the jijya tax? I am just glad the brits came and the country is now in the hands of its rightful heirs. Otherwise who knows how long we would have to tolerate the mughals.

  137. This article was freaking awesome show of your imagination. And the way you write it, truly deserves appreciation. Your are an influencing writer !

  138. By Far ….the best read satirical history blogs…..You have a great skill……as the msg is pass and also made it hilarious….waiting for more….

  139. Brilliant! The comments section is longer than the writing itself. Keep more coming.

  140. quite enlightening…

  141. Please don’t glorify muslim rulers. After all they all were foreign invaders. Barbarians like Moghuls, Khiljis, Tuglaqs and many others couldn’t destroy Indian civilization.

  142. awesome ,,, read a part of history for the first time without being bored

  143. Good flow but there are many misleading facts. First of all the displayed map is highly objectionable please change it ASAP. If you want to show ur imaginative map use different colors and some common sense. “When Genghis Khan invaded Baghdad in 1258″ Genghis died in 1227, it was his descendants not the Khan himself. Your imagination that if he attacked India then …. well the very same descendants who made Baghdad a desert tried to attack India and continued to do so for next 100 years only to get in their face and finally fled for good. Genghis was intelligent. He knew if he tried to capture India this would be his last battle as had been case w/ Alexander and many others and hence he never invaded India in his life time. But marched towards east for easy booties.

    • oh really, then why did the mughals plunder delhi’s wealth twice? india was not really a challenge to the mughals at their peak, it was just that they bigger fish to fry a.ka ottomans and europe thats why india survived

      • It took Islamic rulers almost 500 years to capture India while as Europe was beaten time and time again by Islamic rulers. Egypt, Baghdad, Istambul they all firgit their real identity so soon. India provided the most resistance to foreign rulers. India was country of Gold not Europe.

  144. Great writing: gripping, and made it fun to read history. Could have done without the “african’s left hand joke”. Clever, but racist nevertheless.

  145. As someone who lives overseas, I often try to educate my children on Indian history but they find it so difficult to understand from the way it has been laid out. I wish our history books were written so engagingly… By the way, my family claims “Hemu” as our ancestor and worship his sword in our ancestral home… I will use your blog to educate my children on who could they have been today had the freak arrow not hit Hemu in his eye!!!

  146. Sooperb piece of writing KS. Even during school, I used to read History books as story books. I just couldn’t cram it all up. You will do a great job teaching Back Benchers :D Your response to people questioning the historical authenticity of the mentioned events is good enough for me. Cheers to this one. Keep Rocking!!!

  147. Most of these are modified.. !! because history is finally written by the current ruler .. !!

  148. your first part was definitely interesting, but the way you speculate the history of india if hemu had succeeded is bit too nhaive and wishful thinking. And british rule by the way was not necessarily the wrong thing for india. Sure i would have loved to see a hindu king too but akbar was not bad either, he was pretty secular himself. By the time the brits came to india hemu would have been long dead, and if you assume his empire would have survived as the mughals did, then you need to look at other examples in history to realize only the opposite happens.

  149. Genghis, by now though, was simply “BORED” of all the bloodshed …… he went back without invading India…. India where at-least 1/2 of world GDP was at the time you are talking and India where after 6-7 centuries of core muslim rule still India has 82% of Hindu … unlike egypt and iran where in mere decades the whole countries were made muslim … i think there might be some other reasons as well … don’t you think so ? Its just a suggestion to dwell deeper into history as right now your reason is good but end result seemed a bit less convincing (“Bored”). May be there are some more subtle reasons why India has always been amazing.

  150. Your way of story telling is excellent – not verbose, not flowery and not too hypothetical, but conveying the point nevertheless, as an interesting read. Awesome, please do keep writing – at least for us, regular average jackasses.

  151. My question not comment is where do you find time,I mean after your work.

  152. Amazing work! I wish I could unread it somehow just to have the pleasure of reading it all over again!

  153. If only our history books had such a language..
    Why aren’t you the author of Indian history books..
    Do consider publishing a book with such anecdotes.
    Awesome-written.

  154. This was a nice attempt at an article but perhaps you could refrain from misinforming people in the future?
    ‘In 1215 A.D, Genghis Khan, the ruler of Mongolia, sent a pretty looking gift basket to Ala Ud-Din Mohammad, the ruler of the neighboring Khwarezmian Empire. He even inscribed the words, ‘You are the ruler of the land of the rising sun and I of the setting sun’ on it. He just wanted to be friends.’
    This information is WRONG as in it is false.

    It was actually a letter by Japanese empress Suiko to the imperial court of China around 680AD. The purpose of this letter was to improve ties in hope of trade with the Chinese, but because of the way the letter was written, it nearly caused a war between the two countries. Especially the passage, “from the ruler of the land of the rising sun to the ruler of the land of the setting sun…” The term ‘setting sun’ was taken as an implied insult by the Chinese.

  155. absolutely brilliant.. Gr8 read.. History would be much more interesting if its presented the way you did..

  156. machi .. super fantastic excellent …. devoured 6 of your posts tonight … gotta catch some sleep … keep up the great work!!! and yeah it was kick a$$ funny at many points …. just my kinda humor. Thx.

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